Pursuing Happiness Read online

  Collin did look at the tank. He also looked at Matt. The guy was certainly pleasant to look at, with warm brown eyes, a smattering of freckles, and the darkest shade of auburn hair Collin had ever seen. What drew Collin even more, though, was Matt’s natural grace. He moved his slender frame with the kind of poise you’d expect from a dancer.

  Plus, Matt was passionate about his bearded dragon and Collin appreciated passion in a guy. After his most recent ex, he especially respected passion for something that was more than social status or wealth.

  “Is that a hammock?” he asked.

  “Yes. It’s his favorite place when he isn’t climbing.” Dex was all over his jungle gym now, content to ignore the stranger staring at his habitat.

  Collin considered his options. He suspected that Matt might be interested, if the appreciative glances were anything to go by. On the other hand there was no clear flirting coming from the guy. Not like Collin, who made sure to stand just close enough, hold eye contact long enough, and smile in a way that signaled more than neighborly interest.

  He decided to kick things up a notch. Under the guise of examining the other end of Dex’s habitat he ‘accidentally’ bumped into Matt.

  “Whoops,” he said with a little grin.

  If he read Matt right, the other man was slightly confused but definitely interested. Collin could work with that. “Does he have to stay out for a certain length of time?”

  “Dex? No. Bearded dragons aren’t particularly demanding pets.”

  “So, maybe you have time to come get a coffee?”

  Matt blinked twice. “Yes. Yes, I have time.” His cautious smile brought out dimples. Damn, Collin had never realized how nice dimples could look on a guy.

  “Great.”

  “Let me just put Dex in his room.”

  It only took a minute to get the bearded dragon safely in and a mesh cover over the habitat. It was definitely a sacrifice of apartment space, far more than Collin would be inclined to give up in the small studio.

  They hadn’t even made it to the stairs before Collin realized Matt was pretty nervous. It was just as well that Collin had been told many times he was good with people. In this case he thought light conversation was the way to go. “Have you lived here long?”

  “I just signed the lease for my second year a couple of months ago.”

  “That’s good. I’m happy to know you weren’t fleeing; it means I should be alright.”

  “It’s not a bad building, though admittedly the view could be better.”

  “Sure, but better views tend to cost more.” If he was willing to increase his housing budget Collin could’ve rented a slightly more spacious apartment, or one with a marginally better view. All things considered, he preferred the extra money for things like taking cute guys on dates and saving for vacations abroad, plus he was trying to pay off his damn student loans.

  “True,” agreed Matt. “So, uh, what brings you to the neighborhood?”

  “I just started as the new communications manager at Ted’s Place.”

  “Ted’s Place?”

  “The LGBT center on Arch Street.” As he said this, Collin watched carefully for any signs that Matt was unhappy to hear it, just in case he’d been wrong.

  He hadn’t been wrong. Matt actually seemed pleased, though he did reply, “I need to get out more.”

  “I’ll bring you a calendar if you want to see the upcoming events.”

  “That would be great. Thanks.”

  “What about you? How do you pay the rent?” he asked, turning the corner to a little coffee shop he’d already picked out as a favorite.

  “I’m a vet tech.”

  “Just for reptiles, or all animals?”

  “Not all animals, exactly, because we don’t see livestock, but we work with the whole gamut of Philadelphia’s pet population.” It was clear Matt loved his job. Even talking about it made him more confident and that enthusiasm for animals came through loud and clear. His eyes lit up and he spoke without hesitation. “I know how much people love their pets and I’m glad to help with any species, though I will admit I’m partial to reptiles.”

  Collin couldn’t help but wonder how that passion would feel in bed.

  Chapter Three

  Matt suspected he was on a date. Or at the very least a pre-date. Did that word even exist as a noun? If it didn’t, it should. His previous experience with dates may not have been extensive but at least it had been clear that he was, in fact, on dates. Not knowing how he was expected to react made him nervous, which he tried his best not to show even if he couldn’t realistically hope for much success.

  He opted to focus on the present. If it turned out this was a date, or a pre-date, that would be great. If not, well, he wouldn’t mind making a new friend either. Besides the good looks, Collin possessed an ease which Matt envied. You could instantly tell that Collin was comfortable in the world. It was in his confident stride and unhesitating eye contact, the latter being something Matt struggled with all too frequently.

  Matt carried himself well because it was a layer of armor. He hoped it gave him the appearance of confidence to the casual observer. Collin, however, was going beyond that into the realm where Matt could fool nobody, which was anything involving real conversation. He tried, he really did, but his awkwardness was painfully obvious from his habits of nervously looking away and trying to blend into the background of any given location.

  “So, have you lived in Philly long?” asked Collin.

  “About three years now. I’m from northwestern Pennsylvania, near Allegheny National Forest. What about you?”

  “I grew up across the river in South Jersey. Spent the last five years in Atlanta, and it’s a fine place but I wanted to move closer to home. My grandparents aren’t going to be around forever, my sister in law is pregnant with her and my brother’s first… it just seemed like a good time to be closer.”

  These days Matt didn’t choke on his envy. It still hit him sometimes how much he missed his family, or at least the illusion of what he’d believed his family to be, all the things he hated and couldn’t change. At least he was able to be glad for other people now. “Closer, but not in South Jersey?”

  “I’m a city guy. The suburbs don’t interest me.”

  “There’s a lot to like about the city.” Not that Matt had appreciated these assets at first. He’d looked for jobs in cities because he didn’t own a working car, and that was how he ended up in Philadelphia. “It has its drawbacks, I’ll admit.”

  “Such as the high rents.”

  “And higher percentage of smokers,” added Matt. “On the other hand, I don’t need a car and I get to explore all kinds of neat places.” Philadelphia was full of interesting stores and parks, not to mention murals and an impressive collection of mosaics. A person could miss a lot if they always drove.

  “Plus there’s always plenty going on in a city.” Collin stopped in front of a café that Matt had been to once or twice and opened the door. “After you.”

  Matt had no sooner gotten out the words, “Medium mocha latte, please,” when Collin stepped up.

  “And a medium caramel iced coffee, light on the sugar.” He handed over his debit card to pay for both.

  “Thank you,” said Matt, now reasonably certain this was a date and correspondingly more anxious about the whole thing. He hoped he could avoid making a first-date faux pas, or at least a major one.

  “My pleasure.” Collin gave him an appealing smile. “When you’re not working, what do you do for fun? Besides playing with Dex, I mean.”

  A man who seemed to appreciate his pet, or at least get how much Dex meant to Matt, was a rare find. Reptiles were terribly underappreciated. Now if only he didn’t scare Collin away with his social inadequacies. “I volunteer at the animal shelter on Sundays, read a lot, and I’m in a sci-fi/fantasy book club.”

  “Another perk of city living is that you can find a group for anything.”

  “What about you?�
�� he asked.

  Before Collin could answer, a barista delivered their drinks. They took the coffees to the only table available. Once seated Collin replied, “I swim a lot. Outside when the weather is nice, inside when it isn’t. I like traveling, the Sixers, and of course I’ll be attending a lot of our events at work.”

  “I’ve been in this city almost three years now and I think you’re maybe the second Seventy Sixers fan I’ve met.” Matt wasn’t a sports person, but he was well aware of how deeply Philadelphians loved their football, hockey, and baseball teams. They didn’t care much at all about their basketball team.

  “What’s not to love about fit guys running around working up a sweat? Sure, the uniforms could show off more. It’s practically criminal that they don’t, but still.”

  “I think you have to go to football if you want tight pants,” remarked Matt, desperately hoping that he was getting this flirting thing right.

  “The pants are the only good thing about football. Few activities are less sexy than a bunch of guys giving each other concussions and brain damage.”

  “I never thought of it that way. I’m not really into sports.” By which he meant he wasn’t remotely a fan of any sport he’d encountered thus far in life. “You do have a point about the brain damage, though. Not attractive at all.”

  A recent incident at work came to mind, and he decided to share it. “People get so worked up about football. We had a man bring his dog in for vaccines this week, and he was wearing a Patriots t-shirt and cap. I’ve never seen someone get so many dirty looks when they came in with a perfectly well-behaved pet.”

  “My dad loves football and hates the Patriots,” said Collin. “I’m embarrassed to say he’d have been glaring at the guy for sure. I don’t know, I like the Sixers, but I’m not personally offended if someone likes another NBA team. Maybe that makes me only a lukewarm fan, but I can live with it.”

  Matt was just pleased the guy wasn’t one of those rabid sports people. They baffled him, and he didn’t want to end up dating a guy who scheduled his life around a team, the way Sarah’s last boyfriend had.

  From there the conversation flowed to other crazy sports fan stories, then onto generally insane things they’d witnessed at their respective jobs, and before Matt knew it they’d been talking for almost an hour. Their coffees were long since finished and Matt wondered how long he’d been holding an empty cup.

  “We should swap numbers,” suggested Collin.

  “Sure.” Matt pulled up the contacts on his phone and started a new entry before handing his phone to Collin. He added his name and number in the other man’s phone.

  When they had their own phones back Collin said, “I should get groceries.”

  Matt was fairly certain he wasn’t imagining that Collin looked sorry to part. He wasn’t in a rush either, though come to think of it he had his own chores.

  “I’ve got laundry to do.”

  “I’ll see you soon.” Collin said it like a promise, not a question.

  “That’d be great.”

  In fact Matt liked the idea so much that he spent his entire time at the laundromat thinking about Collin. He wondered what it would be like to kiss the man, to lean on those broad shoulders and maybe run his fingers through Collin’s hair…

  Someone tapped him on the shoulder. Startled, he turned to find a woman scowling at him.

  “Look, if you want to sit here and daydream, that’s your business, but your wash is done and I need the machine,” she said.

  “Sorry,” he mumbled.

  “Just move your clothes out, will you?”

  In his haste to get up, he almost tripped over his laundry bag. Once he’d switched his clothes over to the dryer, he set a timer on his phone. Now he could daydream in peace without worrying about another breach of laundromat etiquette.

  Tuesday evening proved to be one of those delightful June nights where the weather was far too nice for closed windows. Luckily enough the wind blew away from the dumpster, leaving Matt to enjoy air as fresh as it got in the city. This was not at all fresh compared to the rural breezes of his youth, but he’d take it. He much preferred his freedom in the city, questionable air quality and all.

  A knock on the door interrupted his reading. While such a thing usually irked him, Matt didn’t mind at all once he spotted Collin outside his door.

  “Hi,” said Collin.

  “Hi. Uh, come in.”

  “I can’t really stay or I’ll burn my dinner, but I wanted to give you this.” The green paper he handed over was, as promised, the schedule of events for Ted’s Place.

  “Thanks.”

  “No problem. I also wanted to see if you’d like to have dinner with me.” Collin looked a bit nervous while asking, which made Matt feel better about his own anxiety.

  “Yes.” Repressing a cheer, he added, “I’d like that.”

  This earned him a wide smile from Collin, who then asked, “How does Friday night work for you?”

  “Very well.” It wasn’t like he had a busy social calendar, quite the opposite. Which was fine – most of the time. Matt didn’t anticipate ever being a social butterfly, because he liked his downtime.

  “Say, seven?” asked Collin.

  “I’ll be here.”

  “Great. Looking forward to it.”

  “Me too,” said Matt.

  “Alright, gotta go before I burn my fish. See you Friday.”

  “Goodnight.”

  As soon as he closed his door, Matt grabbed his phone. Sarah had barely finished saying hello when he announced, “I have a date Friday night!”

  “With your hunky new neighbor? The one you had the coffee date with?”

  “Collin. Yes.”

  “Awesome! I’m excited for you.”

  “It is exciting. And also a little nerve-wracking.” He sat down on his couch, thinking over their coffee date. Once they’d gotten talking, Matt had lost most of his anxiety because conversation with Collin was easy. If that stayed true, he didn’t have to worry about the dinner date as much.

  “Dates make everyone a little nervous, Matt. You haven’t cornered the market on that.”

  “I feel like everyone else knows what they’re doing.”

  “Half of it is an act.”

  “That doesn’t make me feel better, you know.”

  “Why not?” she asked.

  “Because it would be so much easier if nobody was acting.” All these fronts people put on just served to make life more confusing.

  “Ah,” she said. “Maybe. Just don’t worry about it. If he doesn’t like you for you, he’s not worth your time.”

  “If that’s the case, why is everyone putting on an act?”

  “Because at heart most people are wildly insecure.”

  He considered this for a minute. “I guess the worst thing that could happen is that I get a little more dating experience.”

  “There you go. And who knows, he could be your Prince Charming.”

  He’d never understood why that was the gold standard in partners, and not only because of the heterosexuality issue. “Prince Charming never has any personality. Not to mention he’s always straight.”

  “Just go with it, Matt. And have fun.”

  “Collin is fun.”

  “Ooh, you really like this guy.”

  “Yeah,” admitted Matt.

  “You’ll have to tell me about it.”

  “I will.” After all, he was going to need someone else’s opinion since he couldn’t entirely rely on his own. “How about you? Anything interesting going on?”

  “Not really. Another person at work who didn’t realize her cat was pregnant until she came home to five kittens.” He could picture Sarah shaking her head in disapproval. “It never ceases to amaze me how many people think their pregnant cats have ‘just put on a little weight.’ But you don’t want to talk about work now.”

  “I can’t say it’s the first thing on my mind.”

  Sarah laughed. “
It shouldn’t be. You have something more interesting to think about.”

  He really did, and Matt had a feeling he’d be thinking about his date with Collin for most of the next few days.

  Chapter Four

  When Collin was really interested in someone he wanted to make the guy feel special. Since he didn’t know how Matt felt about flowers, he opted to get fudge, so when Matt opened his door, Collin held out the box and said, “I hope you like fudge.”

  The gift clearly caught Matt by surprise – a good surprise, if his smile was anything to go by. “Who doesn’t like fudge? Thank you. Let me just put it inside.”

  Collin took the opportunity to admire the other man. Matt was dressed in khakis and a dark green shirt, an outfit which suited his slender figure very well. It was his hair that attracted Collin’s eye the most, though. It was just long enough to show off Matt’s deep auburn curls without looking unkempt, and it also begged to have fingers run through it. All in good time, Collin hoped.

  He had nothing against casual sex, and in fact had enjoyed his share of it, but that wasn’t his goal here. Quite aside from being attractive, Matt struck him as a genuinely good guy and, so far, Collin had enjoyed their time together. Therefore he was going into this date looking to see if they might like to build a relationship. While Matt could be tough to read, Collin suspected they were on the same page here.

  “Do you like Indian?” he asked on the way down the stairs.

  “Yes. When I eat out, I like to get food that I don’t make at home, and I don’t make Indian.”

  “We’re about eight blocks away, would you like to get a ride or walk?”

  “It’s nice out. Walking works for me, and I figure it’s good exercise. I’m not much for the gym. I get most of my exercise by walking everywhere.”

  “And it’s environmentally friendly,” added Collin.

  “That too, though I can’t say I’m worried about my carbon footprint on days when it’s pouring rain.”

  “Me neither. I’m not that dedicated.”